Think of Aldo's Assault as what happens when Mario forgets his plumber license and joins a bootleg army. This 1991 DOS gem throws you into a side-scrolling frenzy of ladders, barrels, and the kind of platforming logic that predates physics. Aldo, a man of questionable fashion sense and unclear motives, must survive wave after wave of hazards that seem like they were designed specifically to make you rage quit. It’s fast, frantic, and unapologetically old-school. If you’re craving a janky but charming arcade experience with a touch of chaos, then Aldo is ready to ruin your day—in the most nostalgic way possible.
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