Army Men lets you live out your childhood fantasy of plastic soldier warfare without the hassle of crawling under the couch. You control Sarge, a green-tinted war machine with a stiff upper lip and an affinity for melting tan enemies into goo. It's part RTS, part shooter, and 100% nostalgia. The terrain’s made of sandboxes and kitchen floors, the weapons feel like squirt guns with dreams, and the voice acting is either brilliant or terrible - there is no middle ground. Pure low-poly joy.
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