With a name like Blort!, you'd expect a fart joke or a kids’ cartoon gone wrong, but no—it’s a 1987 arcade-style blaster for DOS. You play as a cosmic defender shooting weird blob-like aliens while dodging pixelated chaos. The controls are twitchy, the sounds are charmingly obnoxious, and the score system encourages reckless bravery (or button-mashing rage). It’s fast, it's weird, and it feels like someone designed it after a long night with too much soda and not enough sleep. Is there a story? Not really. But there is Blort!, and that’s kind of beautiful.
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