Side-scrolling games

Before Madden became a household name, 1988 gave us this DOS football classic, where plays are drawn like cave paintings and players move like molasses in January. Yet, for its time, this was the real deal. You could call plays, manage your team, and fumble in low-res glory. The sound effects are a symphony of beeps and buzzes, but there's genuine ...

Part racing game, part endurance test, African Trail Simulator dares you to hop on a pixel bike and brave the wild. You’ll encounter hostile terrain, wildlife, and the occasional rock that looks suspiciously like the last one. The challenge? Keep your bike running, your face out of the dirt, and your sanity intact. It’s a one-man odysse...

Alcatraz (1992) asks the question: what if Rambo got locked in prison and had to bust out while flexing dramatically the entire time? This top-down action game puts you in the very macho boots of an elite commando trying to escape America’s most infamous prison. The game is part stealth, part shoot-‘em-up, and all testosterone. You&rsqu...

Released in 1994, Alien Olympics answers the age-old question: “What if the Olympics were hosted by Martians on acid?” This wacky collection of mini-games has you competing in events like laser javelin and rocket racing, all while controlling gelatinous blobs and bug-eyed freaks. It’s not balanced, it’s barely controllable, ...

Alien Rampage (1996) is what happens when Duke Nukem gets stranded on a hostile alien planet and decides subtlety is for cowards. It’s a side-scrolling shooter dripping with gore, attitude, and the occasional terrible pun. Everything explodes, everything wants to kill you, and the hero growls like he gargles gravel. It’s dumb, loud, and...

Altered Beast is a classic side-scrolling beat 'em up arcade game developed and published by Sega. It was originally released in arcades in 1988 and later ported to various home consoles, including the Sega Mega Drive/Genesis.Players control a resurrected centurion who battles through five levels filled with undead creatures and other mythical beas...

Despite the name, Aquaphobia (1992) doesn’t help you overcome your fear of water. In fact, it might just make it worse. This is an action-platformer where you try not to drown while battling mutated sea creatures and unintuitive controls. You’ll wonder if your true enemy is the terrifying undersea monsters or the game’s refusal to...

Ardentryst is the indie platformer that tried really hard to be a Metroidvania and kinda pulled it off. With anime-style art, RPG elements, and two playable characters, it’s got ambition pouring out of its pixelated pores. The combat is floaty, the story is melodramatic, and the enemies look like they wandered in from an entirely different ga...

In Armor Alley, you command a helicopter in a warzone that looks like a side-scrolling office meeting gone wrong. It’s strategy meets action: you must manage resources, deploy units, and not crash into the ground every five seconds. It’s chaotic, a little clunky, and far too fun. The game shines in its mix of arcade shooting and light t...

Artura is a hack-and-slash side-scroller that looks like someone tried to draw Gauntlet from memory after a power outage. You’re some kind of Celtic warrior on a mystical mission, but really you’re just trying not to die while jumping over spikes and stabbing things that look vaguely hostile. The music is decent, the graphics are a feve...

When in Gaul, punch like the Gauls do. In Asterix and Obelix (1996), you control the iconic French duo on a globetrotting beat-‘em-up adventure that mostly involves sending Romans flying like ragdolls. It’s all charmingly cartoonish, with faithful visuals straight out of the comics and gameplay that’s one part arcade brawler, one ...

Operation Getafix (1989) is what happens when you turn a beloved comic series into a game with the precision of a wild boar wearing gloves. You play as Asterix on a quest to help Getafix the druid recover his memory and his recipe for the magic potion. What follows is a mix of puzzle-solving and mini-games that will leave you both confused and oddl...

If you've ever stared at a camel and thought, "What if it shot lasers and had a personal grudge against humanity?", Attack of the Mutant Camels is the fever dream you've been waiting for. Released in 2001 for DOS — yes, someone made a DOS game in the 21st century — it pits you against a herd of surly dromedaries with serious attitude pr...

Remember when being radical meant wearing neon shorts and dodging killer squirrels on a skateboard? No? Well, Awesome Earl in SkateRock is here to educate you. Released in 1988, this sidescrolling oddity lets you control a tubular dude with more 'tude than pixels, skating his way through a world of questionable design and rockin’ background t...

If Conan had a bad day and took it out on a few dozen goblins, you'd get something close to Axe of Rage. This 1989 DOS hack-n-slash isn't exactly subtle—you're a barbarian, there’s an evil warlord, and everything must be cleaved in two. The animations might remind you of a flipbook made by an angry teenager, but there's charm in its awk...

Released in 1989 for DOS, Baal is what happens when demons invade and the only thing standing between Earth and eternal damnation is a guy with a really big gun and absolutely no concern for platforming physics. You’re dropped into a hellish maze of traps, puzzles, and pixelated horror, tasked with recovering the parts of a weapon so powerful...

In 1991, DOS gamers were treated to the weirdest parenting simulator ever: Baby Joe in: Going Home. You play as Baby Joe, an infant inexplicably left to crawl through caves, forests, and other extremely child-unfriendly terrain. Why is a baby traversing spike pits and lava flows? No one knows. Maybe his babysitter was the final boss. With floaty co...

Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president? If that line doesn’t make you want to punch a ninja through a hotdog stand, nothing will. Bad Dudes VS Dragon Ninja is peak 80s: mullets, muscles, and more side-scrolling beatdowns than a Chuck Norris fan convention. It's cheesy, it's repetitive, and yes — it's absolutely glorious.

Bad Street Brawler is a beat 'em up video game developed by Beam Software and published by Mindscape. Originally released for the Commodore 64 in 1987 and later for other platforms. The game features Duke Davis, a former punk rocker turned vigilante, as the protagonist. In "Bad Street Brawler," players guide Duke through various urban environm...

Ah, Barbarian: The Ultimate Warrior—the game where loincloths are tiny and sword swings are deadly. This 1989 fighter slashed its way onto DOS with decapitations, grunts, and enough low-res gore to make Conan blush. Forget finesse: this is about button mashing your way to glory while your opponent’s head rolls off like it’s auditi...

Released in 1992, Barbie for DOS is what happens when someone asks, “What if pink could be a video game?” You play as Barbie on a quest to collect accessories and win Ken's affection, which probably says more about early '90s gender norms than we’d like to admit. Still, the music is bubbly, the visuals are sparkly, and the fashion...

In BC's Quest for Tires, you play a loincloth-wearing caveman who’s riding a unicycle through danger, because apparently that’s how courtship worked in 1984. The goal? Rescue your cave-girlfriend from some surprisingly athletic dinosaurs and other slapstick hazards. It's basically Frogger meets a comic strip you’ve probably seen o...

Beats of Rage is what happens when fans of Streets of Rage decide to stop waiting for Sega and just build their own game—with a side of King of Fighters for flavor. This DOS beat 'em up is so full of punches, kicks, and pixel-blood that you can practically hear a '90s arcade groaning in approval. It’s got more combos than a fast-food me...

Yes, it’s that Beethoven—the slobbery St. Bernard, not the piano guy. In Beethoven 2, you control a surprisingly agile dog on a quest to rescue your kidnapped puppies. Along the way, you’ll bark at birds, jump on trash cans, and drool on everything in sight. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds, with controls that feel like you'r...

Take Eddie Murphy’s swagger, remove the charm, add some DOS chiptunes, and you get Beverly Hills Cop—a game adaptation that asks: “What if being a wisecracking detective meant stiff animations and random driving segments?” It’s a mash-up of shooting, driving, and wondering what just happened, loosely held together by t...

Saddle up, pardner. Billy The Kid puts you in the dusty boots of the infamous outlaw himself. This is the Wild West, DOS-style — pixel pistols, wanted posters, and dialogue that might make a cactus wince. Whether you’re shootin’ varmints or causin’ a ruckus, justice is whatever you can code in QBasic.

Mutants! Explosions! Green slime! Bio Menace kicks off with Dr. Mangle’s Lab, a side-scrolling blast of carnage where you, Snake Logan (yes, really), shoot your way through a monster-infested city with a machine gun and a bad attitude. Think Duke Nukem’s cousin after a rough day. Cheap thrills, big pixels, and even bigger mullets.

Snake Logan is back, and this time the lab is... hidden! The Hidden Lab cranks up the challenge with more grotesque mutants, more lethal traps, and slightly improved sarcasm. It’s like episode one, but with less common sense and more toxic goo. Still powered by the Commander Keen engine, because who needs originality when you have grenades?

The trilogy concludes in Master Cain, where Snake Logan faces the ultimate evil: a villain with a name that sounds like a Bond bad guy and a plan straight from Saturday morning cartoons. Expect one last hurrah of mutant-blasting mayhem, complete with bad platforming, louder explosions, and enough neon to cause eye strain. Long live DOS carnage!

Blade Warrior (1991) is a side-scrolling beat 'em up that looks like it was illustrated entirely in heavy metal album covers. You’re a silhouette of rage, cutting through demonic hordes in a world where nobody believes in color. It’s stylish, moody, and borderline impossible at times. The controls are a bit stiff, but that’s just ...